You Can't Save Me
by Surroundedbutalone
Summary: Max's suicide note. Find out what she was feeling in her final moments and why. Plus, how does the flock react? Rated for dark themes and overall depressingness. FAX
1. The Note

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing...except a manically depressed and emo cat. I am not joking. Her fur is completely black and she has tried to committ suicide six times now. She sticks her head into a hole in the curtain and jumps off the table. We think that she is trying to hang herself. Not 100 percent sure though. Insanity might just be contagious. This story is deditcated to said cat. Wow, this is a really long disclaimer...

**Claimer: **If you really want to mess with my story, I can't really stop you can I? I mean, I can sue you and all, but that would envolve effort that I don't contain at this moment in time. As long as you don't copy and paste it we're cool.

**The last testiment of Maximum Ride**

To the Flock,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I saw you with _her_, Fang.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy.

I went numb, and ceased to feel.

Ceased to be.

That was when I first cut.

I just needed to feel something.

After a while it wasn't enough.

I thought if I cut deeper and spilled more of my blood I would at least make me feel alive.

It worked for a while, but in the end it just left me hollower than before.

I tried to keep it together, for the flock, but you know something?

You were right.

You don't need me any more.

None of you do.

I just cause you more pain and suffering than I'm worth.

Because I lied.

I am not Maximum.

Not anymore.

I am nothing without you.

You don't need me.

None of you do.

How can I take care of a flock when I can't take care of myself?

I can't.

Not anymore.

I used to be able to, before this all started.

I just can't remember how anymore.

I sit here and remember the fight we had last night.

I saw the hate and disgust in your eyes when you saw my arms and heard you cries and complaints.

You told me to leave and the words you used cut me more than any blade ever did.

Don't worry.

I am going now.

I feel so tired, my vision is becoming blurred, and I know I must go soon, but wait.

There is some wisdom I still need to depart on you.

The last order I shall give you is the one to do what you want.

I was only trying to protect you all.

I am sorry.

I won't do it again.

Promise.

I was a bad leader.

I know it.

So, do what you want, and maybe you'll see why I was the way I was.

Angel, my baby.

Go off and control people's thoughts until you're as evil and hell bent on domination as the director herself is.

Go invade people's privacy and rip away their freewill.

Go turn everyone into your little puppets and see how it feels to be truly alone, like I was everyday of my life.

Iggy, Gazzy, my brothers.

My Chef Pyro and my little trooper.

Go blow up things.

Go give away your position to any whitecoats or renegade scientist itching to run tests and dissect you.

Go and accidentally kill yourselves or someone you love and see how it feels to be murders.

Like I am.

Nudge, my little sister and motor-mouth.

Go draw attention to yourself.

Go tell every stranger you meet your life story and expose us to the world.

Go get laughed at, screamed at, go get called a freak.

Go get your throat slit and hung on display because for every one to see because you're a monster.

People don't like things that are different.

I learned that the hard way, and tried to shield you from it, but maybe I was wrong to do so.

Fang, congratulations!

You can be fearless leader now, like you so desperately want to be.

Go be the person who four other people depend on for every little thing.

Go be the one who never get's a moment's peace.

Go be the one with the voice telling you to save the world everyday.

Go be the one who always gets blamed when things go bad.

Go lead your family to their immanent deaths.

Then you'll really be alone like you always wanted to be, and whose fault will it be? Not mine, that's for sure.

That's why I'm leaving.

I want out.

I can't take it anymore.

I need a break.

I need to be free.

I loved you all with all my heart.

I hope you're happy together.

All I can say is that I tried.

It was too hard.

Goodbye,

My baby,

My trooper,

My talkative sister,

My pyromaniac brother,

And my best friend, second in command and the only man I have ever loved.

I wish I could see your faces one more time, but it's too late for me.

The darkness is creeping in around me.

Don't cry for me, I was already dead.

I just need you to know that everything I did, I did for you.

All of you.

You can't catch me this time, Fang.

You can't save me.

Signed,

The shell of Maximum Ride.


	2. What have you done?

**(AN: Yo peeps! Since you guys were practically begging for another chapter, here it is. Enjoy!)**

Fang felt the wind whipping through his hair and wings as he soared across the sky, cutting through the clouds like a hot knife through butter.

He usually enjoyed this feeling, heck, he _lived _for it, but today it gave him no pleasure. And it was because of her. Max. God damn it, he hated it when she did something like this. Sure, she hadn't done it for a few years, but here she goes again.

She'll do something stupid, they'll get into a fight and she'll take off get herself hurt. But… something was different this time. Her stupidity had been at its height this time. She had cut. She had actually cut.

Fang gritted his teeth and pumped his wings faster. He had to get to her soon before she gets herself into trouble. She always did.

As Fang remembered what had happened last night he felt a familiar pang of guilt. He should be guilty. This is all his fault. Fang and Max had been going out for the last year or so and he loved her more than anything, but she was always distant.

She always held him at arms length, always kept her guard up. She never needed him. She could take care of herself perfectly fine. Well, most of the time anyway.

So when he met _her_, a normal human girl, and saved _her_ from a group of muggers, it made him feel important.It made him feel needed.

The more time he spent with _her_, the more he knew it wasn't real, but he still craved it anyway. Then Max saw them. The look in her eyes was so hurt and sad that it tore him up inside, but she just turned on her heal ad walked away.

He had tried to talk to her about it but she ignored him. Over the next month or so she seemed to change. She became more reclusive and always sad. She barely ever talked to any of the flock anymore and the others began to rely on him more and more for leadership.

Max became…empty, in a way. Then last night when the kids were running amuck, she scolded them. They didn't listen to her and she reached a hand up in annoyance to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear when he saw them.

The scars.

Fang had demanded what was going on and she merely looked away, the faint look of guilt on her face. That had sent him over the edge and he had shouted at her, screamed at her, trying to get a reaction out of her.

The kids caught on and joined in, saying what a useless leader she was and asking how she could tell them to behave when she was doing this to herself.

In final desperation Fang had told to leave, to get away from them, that she had only ever caused them pain and that they were sick of it.

He was expecting, hoping, that the old Max would look back out at him from those dead eyes and tell him to stuff it, to scream at him back, anything. But instead he got the worst thing he could imagine.

Max had looked at him and her face hadn't read anger or defiance, but a sad and expectant acceptance.

Without a word to any of them she had spread her wings and taken off into the night, which led to the flocks desperate search for her and the fact that Fang was flying through the air kicking himself.

Fang felt something odd vibrating in his pocket and landed, reaching into it and pulling out his mobile phone. He flipped it open and pressed the answer button, hoping with all his heart that it was Max.

There was a slight pause before a voice floated out. His heart sunk. It was Nudge. "Fang, we…we found her. We followed her credit card usage to a motel and…you need to come right away."

The tone of her voice made Fang know right away something was wrong. "Nudge, you ok? What's wrong?" He heard her swallow and there was another pause.

"You just need to get here now, ok Fang? It's the Bright night motel. Please… just come." There was a click and the call ended.

Fang felt a knot of fear and worry form in his chest and he unfurled his wings, taking of into the sky. Something was going on and whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Max... what have you done?

**Before i get murder threats i shall tell you the story won't end here. Thank for reading. **

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	3. The horrible word

**(AN: Yo peeps! Here's the next chapter. There will be a couple more before the story comes to a rather depressing end. Pretty good for a one shot, huh?)**

Nudge closed the phone with a small snapped and swallow, trying to make the large lump that had lodged in her throat go away.

She stared through the growing crowd around her, passed the police barrier, at the black vehicle with the horrible word written on the side and the two people that had come out of it and entered the hotel room Max had rented the previous night.

She felt hollow inside. Empty. The couldn't be real. It couldn't. It had to be a nightmare or something and she was going to wake up any minute now.

She pinched her arm but nothing happened. It was real. Nudge thought that if something like this ever happened she would feel sad, but… she didn't. It was beyond sadness.

She felt numb, and at the same time in terrible pain. There was something missing.

Something deep inside her, so much imbedded in her and apart of her that she never really noticed it was there until it disappeared.

The flock, minus Max and Fang, were standing beside her, but to her they didn't exist. The only things in the world at that moment in time were her and the word written down the side of the car.

The rest of the flock felt the same. The minute they had seen that car something inside of each of them died.

Nudge swallowed and held back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She refused to cry.

The flock felt rather than heard Fang land behind them. They were dreading what was coming next. Max had been their mother, sister and friend. To Fang, she was so much more.

They turned as one to face him, faces pale and eyes red. He did a quick 360, eyes and face hopeful, but his expression fell and was replaced with one of worry when he couldn't see Max anywhere.

"Where is she?" he demanded in a harsh whisper, looking around again as if to double check she wasn't with them.

Nudge couldn't hold it off any longer. The dam broke and teas spilled down her face in a never ending flow.

She swallowed and opened her mouth to speak, but for the first time in her life nothing came out. She couldn't say it.

Instead she turned her head to look at the car again. The rest followed her example. The crowd jostled slightly and gave them all a clear view of the awful word.

It read in big, white, sterile letters 'CORONER '.

Fang followed their gaze and frowned in confusion and annoyance. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the large red faced man next to them.

"What happened here Bill?" he called to a harassed looking man on the opposite side of the police barrier to the crowd.

The man looked up when he heard his name and ducked under the tape before fighting his way through the crowd towards them.

"Another bloody suicide" he panted, wiping his brow with his sleeve. "Third one this month. As if I haven't got enough to deal with already. You'd think that if a person was going to off themselves they'd do it in the comfort of their own homes instead of this place."

He looked angry and was probably the owner of the place judging by his 600 dollar jacket.

"It's a shame though. She was only about 16 or so" He said thoughtfully. "Really? Poor lamb" said the large man. "Yeah" agreed the motel owner.

"Pretty little blonde thing. Slit her wrists. Boyfriend troubles, bet you anything. I'll tell you what, if I ever met that boy, he'd get it. Not only is he responsible for the girls' death but because he also cost me one hell of a carpet cleaning bill. No one's going to want to rent that room for a month!"

"Harsh" agreed his friend and they walked off together discussing the irresponsibility of teenagers.

The flock's faces were pale and horrified as they stared after the retreating backs of the two men. Fang, on the other hand, was dumbfounded on why the flock would care about some random girl killing herself.

They had better things to worry about. The location of Max, for starters. He was starting to get angry at the flock's lack of answers and the small tickle at the back of his mind trying to tell him something wasn't helping.

He ignored it and opened his mouth to speak when the crowd around them went silent.

Fang turned his head to see what they were looking at and saw two men in some sort of uniform pushing a hospital bed out of the motel room.

Strapped to the bed was a large black bag in the ruff shape of a human. The second the men came into sight Fang noticed a smell in the air that could have only been detected by either super human, like a member of the flock, or some types of animals.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was the most beautiful smell in the world, flowery and warm and comforting. It was so familiar to him. It smelt like a spring morning.

He had smelt that scent since the day he was born, but it wasn't until he smelt the dark coppery smell of blood mixed in with it that he recognised it.

Fangs brain went into overdrive as he put all the information together and gasped as it hit him with an almost physical force. He took a step back and his mouth hung open.

"Max…" he breathed, looking at the ominous black bag in horror. Angel nodded and let out a small wail as the rest of the flock also began to sob.

They got into a group hug and clung to each other, each wishing the other was the blonde 16 year old girl that they all knew would never hold them again.

Fang didn't join the group hug. Instead he fought his way through the crowd, face white as paper and heart clenched in pain, with only one thought in his head.

He needed to get to Max.

**Review!**


	4. Wake up

**(AN: Sorry I haven't written I a while folks. I got a new job, so it's been kinda hectic for me lately. Anyway, here you go, what you've all been waiting for, the next chapter in my horrible depress-a-thon. Yay!)**

Disclaimer: If you haven't figured out that I don't own Maximum Ride yet, you are what we call 'special' and probably should be watching that evil torturer of souls, Barney, rather than reading this story.

Fang fought his way through the crowd, making his way slowly towards the large black bag and the men pushing it.

It had to be a trick, something set up by the whitecoats and Itex. It had to be. Max would never do something like this.

She couldn't be dead.

She couldn't have left him all alone.

She couldn't…

Fang reached the police 'crime scene' tape and ducked under it jogging towards the hospital bed.

He was calling her name now, distantly aware of the flock close behind him, doing the same. A man, dressed in a police uniform, blocked his path.

"I'm sorry son. This is police business. Please return to the other side of the barrier."

He spoke in such a dead, robotic tone that Fang had to stop himself from killing him.

He pushed past the policeman and ran at the coroners, who were about to load the body into the car.

Fang grabbed one end of the hospital bed and snatched it away from them.

The men both looked up in surprise, which quickly changed into fear as Fang glared at them, his eyes burning.

Fang growled at them and they began to back away slowly.

No one touched his Max.

The smell was so much stronger now that it took all of Fangs will not to upchuck. He stared down at the bag before him, distantly hearing the shouts of the flock and the policemen, all of which he ignored.

Slowly, his hand shaking, Fang reached for the zip of the bag and pulled it down, revealing the face of the person inside.

Fang stopped and stared. "Max?" he whispered, utterly terrified for the first time in his life.

It was Max, but she looked different. Her skin had a pale grey tinge to it, and for the first time since he had known her, she looked completely relaxed.

Fang waited for a few minutes, staring down at his loves face, expecting her to jump up and laugh at him, to give him a playful punch in the arm, to tell him that this had all been a joke, to tell him that if he didn't stop looking at her like that she'll have more proof of him being a stalker, for her to do _anything_.

Nothing happened. Max didn't move. Tentatively, Fang reached down and shook her slightly, flinching back when he touched her bare skin.

She was so cold. Fang reached down again and shook her harder.

"Max, baby, wake up now. Come on Max, get up. This isn't funny anymore. Wake up now, Max! Max, come, please, wake up. Max, baby, I need you. I need you to wake up now. Please baby, don't do this to me. Wake up! Please! Just wake up!"

Fang voice cracked at the end and he felt tears welling in his eyes. Max wasn't going to wake up.

He was pulled roughly away from the bed by a couple of policemen, both who looked angry.

Fang didn't resist, just hung his head down and let the tears flow silently, shaking the whole time.

He whispered to himself as well, repeating her name over and over again, all the while trying to figure out the question that was buzzing in his head.

Why?

Why would she do this to herself?

Couldn't she take it anymore?

Didn't she love them enough?

Love _him_ enough?

His grief-stricken brain refused to let him even contemplate the next question that came.

Was it his fault?

After a while Fang realized someone had sat him down and was now speaking to him. "What?" was all he managed to choke out. The policeman surveyed him agitatedly.

"The girl. Do you know her?" He questioned, holding a clipboard and looking at Fang expectantly.

"Yes" Fang answered, his voice shaking a little. What did this guy want from him?

The man wrote something down, the asked another question. "Can you tell me her name? And some information so we can contact her family?"

Fang nodded and cleared his throat. It felt so dry. "Her name is Maximum Ride. She…she has…she has a mother in Arizona. Valentia Martinez…"

He trailed off and swallowed again. What would Dr. M say? He had promised to take care of her daughter and he let _this_ happen.

The man spoke again in a down to business tone that Fang was beginning to hate.

"What was your relationship with the deceased?"

Fang blinked. His mind wasn't functioning properly; all he could think of was Max. Her hair, her smile, her face, her lips, her curves, her…

"Who was this girl, Max, to you? Was she your friend? Girlfriend? Sister? What?"

Fang thought about the question and turned away from the officer to stare over at Max's body.

The flock were crowded around it and crying over their mother, sister and friend while police were trying to pull them away.

"Well?" snapped the officer, pulling him out of his daze. Fang gazed at Max's body and said in a shaky voice, "She's my everything".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Fang stared in shock at the small piece of paper in his hand. The police had given it to them not long after the questioning was over. Apparently it was her 'letter'.

The flock was crying in earnest around him, each one grieving for there lost sister and feeling the new wounds her last letter had brought them.

Not physical wounds.

Emotional ones.

Gazzy and Iggy had thrown the pack containing their bombs and equipment into the forest and stayed as far away from the fire as they could.

Nudge hadn't said a word in over seven hours.

Angel hadn't used any of her powers in that amount of time either. They doubted she ever would again.

Fang was in shock, emotionless of the outside, dying on the inside. It was his fault. All his fault. Because of him she had slight her own wrists.

Because of him, the indestructible Maximum Ride, the most amazing girl on the planet, was dead.

Fang suddenly jumped up and into the air. He needed to fly. He felt the grounded disappear and the wind rush through his feathers, but it would never be the same again.

Max…

He loved her.

He wanted her.

He needed her.

And because of him, she was gone. As he flew, a line of Max's note came back to him, playing over again and again in his mind.

Fang knew it would haunt him until the day he died.

_You can't save me…_


	5. Epilogue

Woot

**Woot! Last chapter of my horribly depressing originally one-shot! Thanks to all the people that have been with me along the way in reading this story. I really hope you enjoyed it. Also, a big thankyou to all the wonderful reviewers out there. Without you guys this story would have been lost. –Sniff-. Without further ado, I give you…**

**The Epilogue**

Fang hadn't smiled once since the day he had found out the love of his life had committed suicide. 

The flock and the fact that he needed to take care of them, for Max, was the only thing that kept him going. 

Finally however the strain was too much for them and they split up, each member going there own way to find a place in this crazy world they could call their own. 

Fang couldn't deal, and resorted to taking anything that would make him forget, just for a little while, how miserable his existence was. 

Fang Ride died a few years later at the age of 19 of an accidental heroin overdose in his tiny apartment in down town New York. 

He was found two days after his death with an old and worn photo that had been unfolded and refolded many times in his hand. 

It was a photo of two 15 year olds, one a beautiful blonde girl with her eyes sparkling with life and happiness, the other a tall dark haired boy with a serious, but happy, face. 

They had their arms around each other and were laughing together at some long forgotten joke, which had been lost in the folds of time.

On the back was written the words, "Max and Fang, forever".

After the flock split up Iggy did a correspondence course with Oxford University and got full marks on his culinary exam, as well as 100 percent in his chemistry. 

Iggy, who seemed to have developed a fear of fire and explosives after Max's letter turned down the job offers by the CIA, FBI and the Pentagon. 

He decided instead to keep up his university education.

At the age of 18 Iggy received a bachelor's degree in teaching and became the best in his field, specializing in special children. 

He travelled the world, teaching blind, deaf and disabled children that having said disability did not make them any less of a person, and that they can still become useful members of society, just as a very special girl had taught _him_ so many years ago. 

Nudge, who had probably been the most shocked by Max's death, did the exact opposite to the others. 

She had followed Max's parting words. To the dot. 

Not long after the flock separated she made her way to Los Angeles and showed the first reporter she found her wings. 

She became instantly famous and rich, going on talk shows and writing auto biographies about her horrible Itex experience. 

She did not, however, talk about the flock. Not a word. In her books, interviews and even movies, it was made out that she was the only one this had happened to. 

Nudge fast became a famous actress and spent a year basking in the spot light before the 'incident' happened. 

She had walked half way to her car after yet another book signing when she noticed it. Her car, a stylish silver convertible, had had its windows broken and the words 'Die Freak' written on the side. 

Nudge then had what is called a nervous breakdown, where her mind decided she couldn't deal anymore. 

Nudge ran away from her life of fame and now resides in a small caravan. She works as a psychic for a small travelling circus, as she is sure that the attack on her car was a sign from Max. 

Nudge spends most of her time concentrating over ruins, crystal balls and ouija boards, trying desperately to get into contact with Max's spirit and finally put her beloved sister to rest.

The Gasman, unlike Iggy, was unafraid of bombs and loud noises, but never made one again. 

Gazzy tried to settle down and lead a normal life, going to school, hanging with friends, doing his homework, but after a while, it became too much for him. 

Gazzy had been raised in a violent environment, always on the run and fighting for his life that when normal came along, he couldn't deal. 

He needed the violence, the death, the anger. Fighting was the only time when he felt perfectly safe and comfortable. 

At the age of 16 Gazzy quit the normal life and lied about his age to join the army. There, in the first time in 6 years, since the death of his mother, he had at last felt at home.

Angel was a good girl. She loved Max, her only mother, with all her heart. After her death, Angel never again went anywhere near someone's mind. 

That may sound like a good thing, but it wasn't. Keeping up a constant mind block took a great toll on her and left her weak and tired with splitting headaches most of the time. 

Max's death had taken a great toll on her too, as did each of the other flock member's death over the years.

She collected the newspaper articles and taped them on the walls as each one came. 

Fang, 19, died of a heroin overdose, possibly a suicide. 

Iggy, 21, was hit by a bus while trying to cross a busy street. 

Nudge, 18, was burned alive in her caravan when she nocked over a candle during a séance. 

Gazzy, 17, had caught a live grenade and was blown to smithereens, saving the lives of the five soldiers that it was aimed at. 

Gazzy's death had been the last straw and finally sent Angel over the brink of insanity. 

Angel Ride spent four years at Sunnyvale mental hospital before dying of an aneurism brought on by a brain tumour, which had possibly been the cause of her mental powers.

So there you go. The demise of the famous flock, the bird kids who had saved the world again and again, who were nothing without their mother, sister and leader. 

Nothing without out their Max. 

Take into consideration however that each and everyone of the flock members died with thoughts of her in their head and a soft smile on their face, knowing that soon they would be reunited with the beautiful 16 year old girl who meant so much to each of them, even when she was gone.

**The End.**

**Well! That's the end of that story! If you liked it, check out some of my other stories, some of which are, gasp, not depressingly Emo! So, a big thanks and cyber hug to all my reviewers. You guys are great. For all those who haven't reviewed, do so now. I want to improve, and the only way I can is through feedback. Please! I want to know what you think.**

**Hugs and kittens,**

**Darkangel2007.**


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